Where Did Mom's Money Go?
Mom Said She Had Money. We Were Told There Was Nothing Left.
Before my mother died, my brother was handling her money. Whenever we talked about paying for a live-in caregiver, we were told there wasn't enough.
I didn't understand.
My mother had worked for years. She had a pension. She was collecting Social Security. She had investments, and she used to tell me she'd done well with her stocks.
At one point, she even told me I'd be very happy when she died.
I know... it's a strange thing for a mother to say. But I knew what she meant. She was happy that she would be leaving something behind.
She had also sold her house.
So when we were told there wasn't enough money to pay someone to stay with her, I had questions.
It Wasn't About an Inheritance
My mother was still alive. We wanted her money used for her. We wanted her to be able to use her own money to pay for a live-in caregiver rather than move into senior living.
But we weren't handling her finances. My brother was.
We didn't have the bank statements or investment records. We didn't know what had been spent or what remained. We were just told there wasn't enough money.
Then my mother died.
That's when we learned she had a living trust we hadn't known about. We learned that six of her seven children had been disinherited and that the brother who had been handling her finances was the sole beneficiary.
We also saw that a number of assets were listed in the trust. But when we asked about those assets, we were told through my brother's lawyer that the list was essentially boilerplate and that there was nothing left.
Nothing seemed to make sense. . . What happened to Mom's money?
Not Knowing Isn't the Same as Knowing Something Was Wrong
I didn't know what had happened to my mother's money, but that didn't mean I knew my brother had done something wrong.
There could have been expenses I didn't know about. Money could have been spent on perfectly legitimate needs. There were a lot of things I simply didn't know.
But that was exactly the problem. . . I didn't know. And we weren't getting the financial information that might have helped answer our questions.
I needed records.
That's When I Learned About Trust Accountings
Before all of this, I didn't know what a trust accounting was. I certainly didn't know who could request one or what information it might contain.
As I started learning about California probate law, I discovered that the Probate Code addresses information and accountings that trustees may be required to provide in certain circumstances.
For example, California Probate Code § 16060 addresses a trustee's duty to keep beneficiaries of an irrevocable trust reasonably informed about the trust and its administration.
California Probate Code § 16062 addresses a trustee's duty to provide accountings to certain beneficiaries and the circumstances in which that duty applies.
That doesn't mean everyone who has questions about a parent's finances is automatically entitled to an accounting. Your rights depend on your particular circumstances.
That was something else I had to learn.
The question wasn't only: “Where did Mom's money go?”
I also needed to ask: “Do I have the legal right to request the financial information that might help me find out?”
Where Did My Parent's Money Go?
I talk more about what I learned in this video:
Where Did My Parent's Money Go? Understanding Your Right to Financial Information
In the video, I explain why the trust document itself didn't answer many of the financial questions my siblings and I had, how I learned about trust accountings, and why determining whether you have the right to request one may be an important first step.
What I Took Away From This
One of the biggest lessons I've learned is not to turn missing information into an answer.
We were told there wasn't enough money. Later, there was essentially nothing left.
I had questions about how those two things fit with what I knew about my mother's finances. But questions aren't evidence of wrongdoing.
The records are what can help you understand what actually happened.
If you're in a similar situation and wondering whether you may have the right to request a trust accounting, I created a free Can I Request a Trust Accounting? quiz.
You'll get your result immediately—you don't have to provide your email.
And if you want help taking the next step, you can also request my free Beneficiary Accounting Toolkit afterward.
I'm Angelique Hamane. I'm an educator, not an attorney. I represented myself in California probate because I couldn't afford an attorney. I share what I've learned for educational purposes only. Nothing here is legal advice.
